G ETTING ALONG

This is probably the first time many of you have lived with someone other than a family member.  It is even more likely that this is the first experience living with two or three strangers in the same room.  You will find that understanding how to live with a college roommate will be important to your sanity.   

The best combinations of “roomies” are those who like each other but are different.  Roommates that are close and have very similar interests may spend too much time together.  The decision to live with someone you already know well or consider a friend should be made with caution.  You often learn more about them than you wanted to know. 

The following are tips for getting along with roommates: 

Ø      Be friendly and get to know your roommates.  Even if you don’t intend to be best friends, it will be helpful to establish a friendly foundation. 

Ø      Make a positive first impression.  Only other negative people enjoy hanging around angry and critical people. 

Ø      Say “No” from the start when you’re uncomfortable doing something.  It is helpful to explain specifically why that is your decision.  Avoid starting something you may not want to continue. 

Ø      Show politeness when asking a roommate to do or stop doing something.  Don’t wait until you’re angry about their behavior, store things up, and blow up at them. 

Ø      Be tolerant of different personalities, beliefs, and values.  You don’t have to agree with your roommate’s lifestyle, likes, or dislikes.  You can respectfully disagree. 

Ø      Be careful to avoid forming an alliance with one roommate against a third one.  If there is a problem, go directly to the source. 

Disagreements are normal but a Roommate Contract may be helpful to avoid or reduce disharmony.  It is a written agreement whereby residents consent to conditions and rules for the room.  All roommates must agree to the rules (no more than 10), each should sign it, and post it somewhere in the room.  

If you find that you are having difficulty resolving roommate conflict, you may require assistance from Residential Life staff.  The Counseling Center is also available for mediation and help developing your Roommate Contract.